What is the point of going to church??

Well, I've been in Florida for a month, I guess I should be getting adjusted by now, right? It sure is sunny here, and when I hear of the cooler temps "up North" I remember to quit pouting for a minute and appreciate the warm weather.

Moving away from friends and family is not an easy thing. In fact it's harder than I thought it would be. I can see already though, that good is going to come from it. As always God is at work in all of our lives, and I do believe that my relationship with my husband is and will be strenghthened. He is one of my only friends here, and as he starts a new job tomorrow, I am already mourning the loss. Life is hard sometimes isn't it?

So Sunday seems to be the worst for me. We're "church shopping" which is what we said we were doing for years during our marriage as an excuse not to get involved enough in church to have people start expecting us to be there on a regular basis. This time we are church shopping for real, desperately trying to find a place where we feel comfortable and fit in.

We miss you Community Church. God is doing something special through all of you, and I feel blessed to have been a small part of it.

So today we just stayed in our pajamas and watched church at the Crystal Cathedral. We have tried a Methodist church, a non demoninational Bible church, a Baptist church, and last week we drove 1 1/2 hours to attend Bradenton CRC. While each church had it's good points, we are having a hard time trying to avoid comparing them with our beloved CCRC.

For the last few weeks I was thinking, what is my problem, what am I looking for in a church??? And today it became a little clearer while sitting in my pjs drinking coffee watching TV.

The speaker at Crystal Cathedral this morning was Tony Compollo. Excellent speaker. Tells it like it is, love that in a human being. I had heard him speak when I went to a young Calvinist convention when I was in high school, so I was thrilled when Schuler announced that he would be the speaker of the day!

Anyway, today in the living room, through a charismatic preacher, a top notch orchestra and a well trained choir singing hymns, my heart was lifted, and I could just "feeeeeel" something that I was missing.

Then all our pages and pages of homework from last year flashed before my eyes, and I knew in an instant what I had been missing. The presence of GOD. That is all I want in a church. That's it. I can just sense it when a speaker has such a close relationship with God, and the Spirit just moves thru the message and it just envelopes my heart and I know that it is God. I felt it again today.

What is the point of going to church,I've been asked that many times by unbeliever friends, and the answer is so clear, to be in the presence of God, to worship Him for all that He has given us in His Son. To be filled with joy in the knowledge that no matter how badly we will continue to mess it up, He will forgive us.

Church in the living room was great today, but I missed the fellowship of believers. Who knew a former "church shopper" could become so dependant on "church"? No, I have become dependant on God, and long to be in His presence, fellow believers at my side, Praising Him for that and praying that He will lead us to the place of His choosing so that we may worship in His presence.

Enjoy Esther! Please post up once you get rolling and share what you're learning! Would love to hear what God is doing!

Been a long time!

I took the summer off from blogging, in fact I pretty much took the summer off from everything besides sitting on the beach and playing with my friends! Lucky me!

News has leaked out that after a lot of heart wrenching decision making, we have decided to move to Florida.

The decision to move was made this winter, and then we chickened out in March, mainly because of the uncertain economy in FLorida.

Literally days after our decision not to move, my husband's job situation got really bad. When we add up the days he didn't work in the early spring it makes 6 weeks worth of NO paycheck. Ouch.

Was God trying to tell us to stop making every single decision a fiscal one? I really don't know.

You know the saying, things just fell into place? Well or us, it's more like things just fell apart. So what does that mean? What is God trying to tell us, stay and tough it out? Go and start afresh? I have no idea.
Those of you in WIW studies and close friends of mine know that God has really been working on me in the area of my marriage. I am often accused of beating myself up, but here are the facts; I was in a difficult marriage, that failed, this left me with an attitude, in fact it left me a bitter and unforgiving woman, thankfully God changed my heart, and I am free of those things, but I admit that a slight "attitude" remains. ;-)

Another fact is that I was a single mom of 2 little girls for a few years, which, for all practical purposes made me the head of my own household.

When I married my sweet husband, I never truly turned over that role to him. Honestly, I think he was okay with it too. He was aware that i was deeply devoted to my girls, and respected my decisions regarding how they were raised. And when we had a son, he was just naturally raised the same way.

Over the years I admit to getting my way...every single time. The creed in our house is....if the momma ain't happy...you know the rest!

"Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church," Ephesians 5:22-23a

So what does that mean exactly? I don't know, but I do know I was not living up to those standards.
So God started just working on me, and as I fought against my natural bossy attitude, I felt like God was melting me down, little by little.

And just as I melted and gave in to the idea of not always being in control in our household, my husband announced his desire to move to Florida to be closer to his mom.

This story is getting much too long, so to shorten it up, I will just say, I am excited and very afraid of moving to FLorida. I am FROM here. All of you FROM here know just what that means. But the timing of God planting that seed in me to "submit" to my husband the way He commands and my husband deciding it was time to move is not lost on me.

So in faith I head south to a new life, new jobs, new schools, new neighborhood, new church family.

To my WIW sisters, I am praying that someone who loves Jesus will step up to the plate and lead my dear Women in The Word. I love you all! I'll try to keep blogging as a way to stay in touch, so please comment often!

My favorite things...

So here's the deal...a long time ago I worked out at home to a vhs tape that I really enjoyed. I had tried everything Sweatin to The Oldies (annoying), Yoga (relaxing but I needed cardio), various dance tapes etc but there was one that was just right, a good fit for me. A good workout, tough enough without killing me, and entertaining enough to do it a few times a week without getting bored.

So we moved a while back and my husband thought we should purge lots of our stuff that we weren't using at the moment...and well....I certainly wasn't using the exercise tapes very often, so they went in the yard sale and they are probably collecting dust in someone elses house.

Anyway, I have been trying to get into an exercise routine. I am so thankful for nicer weather to walk outside in, but during the winter I tried various exercise tapes, and none of them kept my attention. Exercise is now a struggle, something I am forcing myself to do. Not fun.

So it occured to me that Bible study is the same for me. This year "A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place" was so interesting to me. It was hard work and lot o f homework, but the benefits of this study were vast to me.

I've been trying to study the Bible on my own for the past few weeks since the study ended, and I'm finding it hard to be consistent. I realize I've lost my favorite study guide, and I'm almost mourning the loss. There's just something about meeting with Women of God, and discussing a great Bible lesson.

I'm missing each of you today.

Last DVD & brunch

This week is the final DVD teaching for the tabernacle study.

Wednesday morning will be brunch while we watch the DVD. Bring a breakfast item to share.

Mixed feelings...

As much as I thought this study was going to be the death of me, I wept yesterday as I turned the last page, read the last Bible passages and filled in the last blanks of our tabernacle study. I already feel strangely empty and we'll meet two more times before we are completely done.

I'm amazed that I WANT to study God's Word. For me, in the past, personal devotions were at best a forced event, where out of guilt I found and dusted off my Bible, clenched my teeth, and vowed to stay faithful and read at least one passage per day. It usually lasted less than a week, and there sat my study Bible covered in dust on the end of my dresser.

I just gotta say this, if God is not amazing and interesting enough to keep us studying and wanting more of Him, we have no one to blame but ourselves. His Word is more interesting, complex, attention grabbing, life enhancing and complete than anything ever created by any human.

Thank you God for teaching us through the tabernacle study this year. You have opened our eyes and our hearts to lessons that we needed to learn. You have created bonds between us women that we desperately needed. Convinced of the truth, that You want to dwell in me, to show your glory thru me...I am speechless, and I stand in awe of You forever.

well.....

So, did you get day 1 complete yet ladies? Our lesson on being good finishers has really touched a nerve for me, and I bet for others as well.

Just this morning I told my husband if it were up to us to build the tabernacle...well, let's just say I'm not confident we would have succeeded. What a great lesson.

Can't wait to discuss the heart questions with you guys next week.

John 8:7

Another great week of discussions as we reap the harvest of 8 weeks of hard lessons in this tabernacle study!

In our study this week we read James 8:7:

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."

We discussed the way we sometimes think of our righteous acts. We were reminded that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. We studied the fact that Christ's death was for the pharisees, those who gave him vinegar to drink, and even those who drove the nails into his hands and feet. In the middle of one of the worst times in the history of man, Christ died for us. Sobering news, but great news!

Our discussion turned to the fact that it is important for long time, been going to church your whole life, believers to remember that their righteous acts are like filthy rags. Sometimes we think we are doing pretty good. At least we don't have big things on the list like murder, or adultery, but sadly, we sometimes forget that slandering someone is the same as murdering them to God.

We talked about how easy it is to sit in judgement of people who seem to be in a mess all the time. We sit back and wonder, "why can't they get their act together?!"

I shared the story of feeling the eyes of judgement on me when I had to appear before the council as a pregnant unmarried teenager. It hurt.

On the other side of the coin we talked about the way things have become so gray, and how we really need to call a sin a sin. Especially in church leadership, the Bible calls for discipline, it needs to be done.

I thought about what I would say to a pregnant teenager if I were called on to the job of church discipline, and it would go something like this:

As your sister in Christ, I need to talk to you about the situation you find yourself in. The Bible teaches us the law, and you probably already know that some of your past actions are considered sins according to God's Holy Word. I'm sure you already feel bad, and guilty about your sin. We all sin against God and fall short, no one is perfect. Here's the good news, Jesus death was for the sinner, not for the "perfect" or the "sinless" person. In fact not one perfect person exists, so Jesus died for each of us. I'm here on behalf of the church to remind you that God still loves you, and that, once you repent, your sins of the past will be GONE and remembered no more. You are a beloved child of God and His only desire is that you remain in a close relationship to Him. If there is anything we can do for you, we are here as your God's family.

The goal of church discipline should certainly be to draw the wayward back to God. Let's pray for the elders of our churches as they make these difficult visits, and try to handle awkward situations in love. And let's vow to keep looking inward at our own hearts to see where we are falling short, instead of looking around in judgement of others. Jesus died for the sinners...that's you and me, and the addict, and the murderer.

Are we committed?

So we're staring down the last 2 lessons of the Tabernacle study. I think we've had more drop outs than people who have stuck with this study so far. In talking with the women, the theme is the same, no time to do the homework. And, let's face it, you don't get as much out of the discussions when you haven't done the lesson.

So yesterday I was finishing up my homework, and it talks about what it must have felt like for Moses when all the items for the tabernacle passed inspection. It has been a challenge for us to LEARN about all the details and specific instructions that went into creating each article in the tabernacle. God even chose who could do what, in what order, with what materials and so on. Exhausting work in my opinion. I've been studying for weeks, and I still mix up the golden and bronze alters occassionally.

Imagine the Israelites building this thing. Hammering out the lampstand out of one solid piece of gold. Weaving intricate images of cherubim into the hides. Can you even imagine the time involved, the dedication it must have taken? And remember it wasn't like they could just throw a frozen pizza in the oven for supper either, just eating and having water to drink took time and energy to pull it off, add all of these projects to the "to-do list" and wow, what dedication it must have taken.

Today we're not asked to hammer out golden lampstands, and cover acacia wood with gold to make a the table of the bread of the presence. And modern conveniences exist all around us to make our daily tasks easier and less time consuming...I mean, can you imagine washing your clothes with a rock in the river??? yuck.

The Bible is full of every single answer to all the issues in our daily life. God tells us to trust Him, that He will care for us, he watches over the birds of the field he will watch over us. Over and over the stories and God's own words in the Bible show us that anything and everything that happens in our lives was ordained by God who loves us, our prayers are brought to The Father thru Jesus who lives to intercede for us...if that doesn't make us sleep better at night, I don't know what will!!!

But, in order to believe what the Bible tells us, to trust God fully....YOU HAVE TO OPEN IT AND READ IT! I spent years and years calling myself a believer....and never opening the Bible. In my life this led to double minded living. From years of growing up in the church, I knew what the Bible said, and what God's promises were, but without spending time in a relationship with God, my head and heart were always messed up. Life's challenges felt like punishment, and I could never see how any good would come from the trials I was facing. Things were hopeless, and life was a mess.

I'm just wondering if anyone in this generation would have put in the time and dedication it took Moses and the Israelites to build a tabernacle? Can you think of anyone who would have stepped up? I mean we don't even have what it takes to complete 10 lessons of homework with 14 days to get 5 days completed. I myself have struggles this year to complete the lessons. It feels like toooooo much information every week, my brain is stretched in many directions and without the proper level of quite and peace to get the homework done, I find myself missing key components the first time around. I've nearly done every lesson 2 times just to get the full effect of the day's lesson. Would I have done this if I didn't have to lead....I'm not positive I would have. I may very well have been a drop out. I'm busy. Carving out quiet time is hard.

When Moses learned that every item they had worked so hard to complete for the tabernacle had been inspected and approved, he blessed the people. And you know what those of us who have stuck this year's study out are receiving blessing every week thru the video teaching, and thru the discussions. As hard and time consuming as it has been I would not trade the fact that at this moment in time I have a better understanding of the Bible than I ever have before.

And for me, this study has worked to make the knowledge that Jesus death was for me, even sinner, loud mouth, daily messing it up, ME! Praise God for his perfect plan. He inspired the very lessons we complete, and He knows exactly who needs what encouragement, and then we ask Him to teach us thru His Word each week, and He does!

I'm just saying, I have friends who go to a personal trainer 5 days a week, spending large amounts of cash, and a lot of time, in order to maintain a slim body. I see friends who go to a tanning bed and lay in it for 30 minutes every single day to look tan in the winter. Yet it's hard for us to spend time with God who has a lot more to offer us than a hot, tan body. And I was the same way, and I still am, I spend time I could use to meet with God on a whole lot of useless things. But I praise God for the women who will complete this study with me. It's been a long hard road with a whole lot of blanks to fill in. But the blessings are already obvious.

And next year, as many of you know I will be in Florida, and most likely not yet leading a Bible study, but I will be hunting down a structured study to attend. I will make time in my schedule to go, whether that means changing a work schedule or even, (gasp) taking time out of laying on the beach. God will be a priority to me, and I'm asking my sisters in the Word to hold me accountable for it.

Thank you to each of you who faithfully attend and share your lives. I think of you all often with love, and I will always remember the time we've spent together.

to be profoundly effective in this generation...

Wow ladies we have been challenged over and over this year thru "A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place" to be profoundly effective, and in last week's video Beth Moore pointed out that God calls us to be profoundly effective in THIS GENERATION. She asked, "what are we waiting for?!" Good question.

Immediately my heart began to race, it is how I am made, give me a task, and I'll set out to accomplish something. My mind raced too, with questions; "am I doing enough? what else can I do? am I even mildly effective?".

As this idea of being profoundly effective in my generation bounced around my head the past week, God finally got thru the jumble of noise and activity that is my brain, and I think I'm finally getting a picture of what He means for me to be profoundly effective. Surprisingly it doesn't mean signing up to "do more stuff", it doesn't even mean getting a plan of action together and moving forward.

How am I going to be profoundly effective? It's easier than I oringally thought. I believe that God assigned my spiritual gifts, He thought them thru and gave certain gifts specifically to me. I can already see and believe fully that God will use everything He allows to happen in my life for His good. I believe that Jesus lives to intercede on my behalf to the Father. I believe that my past, present and future has purpose in the Kingdom of God. I will stay rooted in God's word, I will pray and fellowship with believers every chance I get. I will remain in the vine, I will ask the Holy Spirit to fill me up so that I can be a light in this dark world.

I'm re-thinking this effectiveness out...and I'm starting to see that it's not so much WHAT we do, but WHO we are. It's not about volunteering for yet another program, it's not about spending more time doing busy work. God has a plan for every moment of our day....and we won't always know when we've been "profoundly effective". If the Spirit lives in our hearts, if we are full of God's love and pouring that out onto people everywhere we go, then we are the light we are called to be.

We don't need to sit around and wait for the perfect opportunity to be profoundly effective, every moment of every day is an opportunity to let God use us to be profoundly effective in our generation, isn't that cool?!

Jesus lives to intercede for us...

"Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them Hebrews" 7:25 NIV

"Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them" Hebrews 7:25 KJV

Whether you are in the Tues night group, or the Wed morning group, you will want to clear your schedule to see the video teaching of Heb 7:25 this week.

I usually don't watch the dvd in advance, but something this morning just prompted me to watch it while I got ready for work, and I am so glad that I did.

For me, it is the most meaningful lesson of this study...and wow there have been powerful lessons already. I am so good at asking God "WHY???" In the last few weeks I shared a situation I was dealing with and thru that mess, I was asking God in my prayers, "Why God why do you let people with drug addictions get pregnant and bring babies into this world????....Why and why do you put these people with all this mess into my path??? WHY????"

Through the video teaching this week, I have a better understanding and peace over the why of every single thing. On the one hand I believe God made me this way, and it is partly my nature to ask questions, on the other hand, am I not believing that God's plan for me is in my best interest? Do I really mean it when I pray "Your will be done?" or are those just words?!

I can't wait to discuss this video with you all tonight/tomorrow. Until then, I ask that God would break down the barriers that stand in the way of us getting together, and that He would open our hearts and our minds to what He needs to teach us thru this lesson.

I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart

Does Community Church put on an awesome Women's retreat, or what?!

Picture pink and brown "kid in a candy shop" theme. Adorable decorations
Imagine a "Sunday dinner" menu; pot roast, mashed potatoes and green beans. Yum.
And a speaker who kept us laughing the whole day with her funny stories and jokes. Truth be told, some of the stories in and of themselves weren't very funny, but Glenna Salsbury finds the joy in all things.

What I appreciated most about Glenna Salsbury was her honesty, and the one thing that keeps ringing in my head is that "Jesus FINDS us!" The parables of the pearl and the treasure in the field were so key to knowing who we are in Christ; sought out, bought with a price, treasured forever. Praise Him.

All of you from WIW know that Gayle De Vries has been struggling with some health issues, but you wouldn't have known it to see her on Saturday. She looked wonderful in her pink jacket, and was just as charming and sweet as always. A mere 3 days earlier after study I told my husband I didn't think she'd be able to pull it off. Wednesday Gayle looked tired, and worn out, but Saturday found her chipper, and bright. Surely God carried her thru the day, and gave her the strength and we are so thankful for that!

Pray for extra blessings for all those hard workers of the retreat committee. They really put more work into that day than anyone ever should, but the results are great, women are blessed and feel special, and God teaches us thru the guest speaker, and hearts are filled with Joy as a result.

On Friday I had given my ticket for the retreat to my mom. After a plea on the previous Sunday for workers, I had decided to serve instead, but each member of the committee encouraged me to sit down and enjoy the day. Thank you for that. I sure did enjoy the day, even though it took quite some time for me to sit still without feeling like I should be doing something. And thank you to Lynae Dykstra too, who, while we were greeting, told me to stop being ridiculous and to relax and enjoy the day. I'm not so good at that, and I really appreciated the nudge to relax. In return I got to give Patty Roodzant the same nudge. She's really bad at relaxing and letting someone else do the work, but I think she finally managed to settle in to the idea also.

Joy is contagious, start spreading some around today. Remember you were bought for a price, isn't that reason enough to be joyful?!

bitterness

Apparently President Obama mentioned Tonya Harding while on the campaign trail in December. He stated that he wasn't going to pull a "Tonya Harding" on Hillary Clinton just to win the state of Iowa.

In case you lived in a cave back in 1994, Tonya Harding was an olympic figure skater who had a hand in the attack on her figure skating rival Nancy Kerrigan, hiring a couple of thugs to club her in the knee before her performance.

Yesterday I caught the end of an interview with Tonya Harding who was quite bitter about the president talking about her. She spoke through gritted teeth and squinted her eyes while railing the president for using her name when the country is in financial crisis. She felt he should have more important things to do than to bring her name up again.

She was practically spewing venom saying things like "how long do I have to pay for my mistakes" and "how much punishment do you want me to endure".

She's obviously still bitter some 15 years later. How sad. What a different life she could lead could if she would just confess to wrong doing, ask for and accept forgiveness, then move on.

Easy to say when one knows God. In God we have someone to confess our sins to. We can just get on our knees at anytime and tell our Father God how we have sinned. And because Jesus already paid the price for that very sin, we can ask forgiveness, and then we can live in the knowledge that God forgives our every sin, and covers us with grace thru His Son.

The world is not full of grace for sinners. The world seems to enjoy watching someone fall on their face. I think maybe it makes us feel better about our own mistakes when we can look at someone else and point out their faults.

I imagine Tonya Harding is sick to death and tired of being the butt of jokes, and now even the president of the United States has made fun of her by name. I can picture the Obama speech writer thinking "here have the president elect say Tonya Harding because it will help him relate to 40 year olds who remember the Tonya Harding incident!" good one.

Tonya Harding's wound has obviously not been healed, from her demeanor during the interview I saw yesterday, her wound is gaping and bleeding 15 years after the original blow. I remember reading that she was suffering from alcohol addiction some years ago. One could guess she tries to address her pain by dulling it with booze, but that does nothing to heal her original wound.

There is hope for Tonya. No one is beyond God's reach. This has served as a reminder for me, to be thankful that I have a God who forgives my sins and heals my self inflicted wounds. Without Him the wound festers and the blood flows, and it hurts forever and bitterness reigns.

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:13

hard lessons

I am convinced that there are a certain type of people who wake up each morning determined to make everyone in their path miserable.

Before they open their mouth, the look on their face tells the story; the scowl, the creased forehead, the squinty eyes.

Now I'm not talking about the kind of person who has the occassional bad day or the one who sees the cup as half empty. I'm talking the one who, no matter how sweetly a store clerk might speak to her, can not find nice words to say back.

Well today a woman that falls into the category described above, graced me with her presence. I'm telling you, she was just looking for a fight, and she almost got one.

Let me tell ya, miss crabby pants sure got under my skin today. Twenty nice people can say all nice things, but the words of that one unpleasant person can stick with you all day long! I vented to my poor husband via text message, and he sent one back, it said, "Think of the 200 nice things ppl have said, and remember me and Jesus love u."

Awwww! And then it hit me, oh yeah, that sermon series, yuck I can not and will not forgive crabby lady...she's undeserving! No, we're called to forgive....everyone. And in reality I got pretty snippy with her so I probably could apologize myself.

God sure asks us to live up to big things, doesn't He? I so want to make exceptions to the rule...my mind thinks even Jesus would get annoyed with that lady!!!!

So, I've asked God to help me forgive even crabby pants, and while I was praying I found myself praying for her, asking God to heal whatever inside her makes her so bitter toward the world. Wow that sure feels better than the stewing I had been doing over her unkindness.

God calls us to forgive, he gives us the forgiveness in our hearts, even when we can't muster it on our own, and then peace follows. God's methods are so good and so right!

I know so much more, than back when I knew it all...

The only station I can get in my shop is a country station, and I just got done listening to a song that had the title of this blog post in it's lyrics. I like it.

Before I even begin this post, it must be said, that I am open to other ideas, and even to those who are in complete disagreement with me on the subject.

Ted and I spent the better part of our marriage bouncing from church to church. Each time we got comfortable something happened that we didn't like. The minute we didn't like something we would use it as an excuse to not attend a church regularly. We were slackers, and we thought church should be all about us.

I know so much more, than back when I knew it all.

Finally God began to take over our selfish hearts, and as we continue to mature spiritually, we are realizing more and more that "church" is not about us at all, it is about God and God alone.

Every church has it's style, and many churches are adopting "mission statements". At Community, we've chosen "Celebrating Christ, Restoring Community" as our "tagline" or our mission statement. To my understanding,even as Community church was conceived the goal was to reach out to the Roselawn community, to those who do not know God.

So what does that mean to those of us who choose to worship regularly in an outreach minded church?

So often worship style and music is at the center of controversy. I remember my parents having discussions about the new Psalter vs the old, and back even further than that, I know that some folks from the "Old Country" were upset when the church started to sing songs in English instead of the familiar Dutch they were used to.

On Sunday we Celebrated Christ with "New music Sunday". We were finishing up our "Live Like You Were Dying" small group series. Our young director of arts and worship explained that the praise group that would be singing, was a small group that met out of a common love for God and music.

The group had lots of guitars and played a much louder and rock and roll version of praise music than most of us are used to hearing in church. These young people are very gifted musically, and for me, it was great to see them praising God in thier style of music. I did realize that I am getting old, because the volume did seem loud to me...when did that happen?!

Anyway, maybe it's because I have a twenty something and teenaged children that I understand how, what seems like loud screeching noise to some people, can be a beautiful expression of praise for a different age group.

Interestingly enough at our small group meeting Sunday evening, there were two families that absolutely LOVED the music of the morning service, and both were families that are fairly new to Community Church, and both were from the Roselawn area.

One thing I love about Community Church is that the goal is to blend the best of the old with the best of the new in regards to worship style, the goal I would guess is to give everyone in such a diverse group of people the opportunity to praise God in their own style. That didn't happen on this particular Sunday, there were no hymns sung, I get why people who are comfortable praising God thru hymns would have been disappointed.

Since we claim to be a church whose purpose is to reach out to the unsaved community, is it possible to see that no, maybe it wasn't everyone's choice of music, but if the loud rock and roll style of music reaches new families, and a younger generation that maybe it could be part of worship services in the future?

I praise God that my 20 yr old daughter has found a contemporary worship service at Moody Bible Church in Chicago, where she feels comfortable praising God in her style of worship. I don't want her to attend a church out of obligation, I want her to feel the Spirit move in her heart as she praises her God. I thank God that Kyle took a chance and introduced a different style of praising God to our church and I thank God that some of our new families really loved it.

You may not agree, but I've decided once and for all that church is not all about me...yes, I need to be fed, I want to be comfortable, and I do enjoy praising God in my chosen style of worship music on Sundays. But the goal is to reach those who do not know God, and since I know our director of arts and worship, and I know that his relationship with God is strong and that he walks close to God, I trust that his heart was in the right place when he chose the music for Sunday's worship service.

In our study of week 5 we learned about worshipping in Spirit and in Truth. In our discussion we talked about how any expression of praise should be a stirring of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. It was said that we should neither raise our hand in praise because everyone else is doing it, nor should we be afraid to raise our hand because no one else is doing it.

Father God may Community Church continue to worship You in Spirit and in Truth. I ask that you move our wants and desires out of the way, and keep our hearts and minds open to the expressions of praise in styles that we are not familiar with. You are the reason we come to church on Sunday, it's not about us, but only about you our God and Savior. Thank you for allowing us to worship with such a diverse group of believers at Community Church, where we can share and learn more about you from eachother's experiences. Continue to use us to reach out to the lost and hopeless who do not yet believe in You. In Your Son Amen.

Josh at Winterfest

I think this is Joshua's "I'm a little too cool to smile" face but doesn't he look cute? His adorable escort is Lisa Heerema's daughter, Stacy, Lisa attends Wednesday morning WIW.

My little boy

My baby, Joshua stands at 6'5" tall...and growing. Last night he was the freshman representative for a thing they call "Winterfest" at his school. It's kind of like the homecoming court. Out of the whole class of freshman, Joshua was selected to represent his class. When I got news of this nomination Joshua joked that it must have been because he voted for himself, he's a funny guy.

Joshua has become quite popular at his school. It helps that he has a sister that is a senior, and all her friends are his friends. But a year and a half ago, Joshua wasn't feeling too popular at school.

The biggest kid in middle school was getting bullied. Sounds wierd, but it's true. One day Josh confided in me that a group of kids were picking on him, calling him fat, and physically hurting him. WHAT???? I was shocked! Did I mention he is 6'5" tall?!

Being a little over protective I tried to demand Joshua give me the names of those boys so I could have a word with their mothers, but as you can imagine, Josh wanted nothing to do with any of that. I tried to encourage my little boy as best I could, but this time mom really couldn't fix it.

Ted started teaching Josh some self defense moves that he had learned back in his cop days. Ways to defend himself without starting a fight. Small ways to tell those boys he wasn't just going to take it anymore.

Ted also decided it was time to talk with the principal, so that if a fight broke out one day, the principal would at least know part of the background between the boys.

Joshua's principal was very supportive. He gave Josh some very good advice...he said that although he would love to get those kids in the office right now and punish them, that it would probably make the problem worse. He told Joshua that for some reason those boys had picked him out as a target, and that the boys actually loved seeing Josh get upset. He told Josh in not so many words to defend himself. He advised that if a fight did break out, Joshua would get a punishment but that he would take our meeting into consideration as well.

Slowly Joshua began to make his point nto those boys, and finally the bullying stopped. Thank God!

At parent teacher conferences every teacher told us stories of Josh sticking up for the little guy. Story after story of him standing up to bullies even if they weren't picking on him directly.

Joshua knows how it feels to get picked on, and instead of joining in the bullying as a result he has chosen to stand up for the little guy, and we couldn't be prouder of him.

Isn't it interesting how God can allow something which seems really bad at the time to happen to us, maybe to shape our character and to give us a heart for someone in the same situation?

My camera is not working, but as soon as I get it going I'll post a pic of my "little boy", the gentle giant who sticks up for the opressed.

Here's what we're gonna do...

It was bound to happen, the Tuesday night group met, and Wednesday morning was canceled due to snow. Not a big deal, but now the two groups are not on the same schedule with videos and homework review...that doesn't work at all for me as leader of both groups.

Here's what I've decided to do:

Tuesday February 3 we will NOT have study
Wednesday February 4 we WILL meet for week 5 discussion

Tuesday February 10 we will meet and watch session 5 DVD
Wednesday February 11 we will meet and watch session 5 DVD

Oh my this is getting so confusing!

Please spread the word to anyone in either group regarding the schedule change.

Thank you in advance for understanding!

Things I learned in California...

I started a long tale of Tawnya and my trip to California to surprise Kathy on her birthday, but the details are too plentiful, so here is a list of a few things I learned thru the weekend:

1. A 6AM flight out of Indianpolis means leaving your house in DeMotte at 1:45 AM...OUCH.
2. If you leave Indianapolis at 6 AM, it only takes 3 hours to get to California...sweet!!
3. Even if the directions say to turn on Avenue 42, when Avenue 42 is a dirt path, it's not likely to lead to a fancy Palm Springs resort.
4. Alex Vander Tuig is far better at directions than mapquest ever will be.
5. It is impossible to sleep in the daytime when you have a HUGE surprise planned for the evening!
6. It's actually possible to laugh until your face hurts.
7. Reconnecting with true friends takes only moments.
8. The staff at Consuella's Cafe is very kind and accomodating.
9. It can be 80 degrees and sunny in Palm Springs and 60 and cloudy one hour away in Ontario CA. (hard for this Indiana girl to understand!)
10. Walking against the current in a lazy river is harder than the elderly people make it look!
11. 3 friends can fill hours and hours of time simply talking.
12. California pedicures aren't all they are cracked up to be. (my camera won't work, but ask to see my toes and you'll know what I mean!) (oh and Tawnya's are not much better , fortunately the birthday girl's are great !)
13. It's possibly more fun to surprise than to be surprised.
14. Andrew Vander Tuig is hilarious (even if his mom and dad don't appreciate his humor sometimes ;-)
16. Did I mention it's possible to laugh until your face hurts?
17. Without Mr. Swanson to make us laugh, Aaron and I can sit next to eachother in church and not get in trouble (we've grown up a lot in the last 6 months)
18. The road to California is long but not impossible to travel.
19. Friendships don't end when one friend moves away.
20. New friendships bloom when girls travel together.
21. Bryan, Kathy and the boys are a blessing to their church in California just like they were to us in DeMotte, and although I will still miss them and maybe even still get misty eyed from time to time, they are where God has called them to be, and God blesses his obedient children.

Tawnya and I felt your prayers for safe travel and thanked God for you and for your prayers before we left. Thanks for sharing in our excitement and for keeping our surprise a secret.

Special Thanks to Grandma Patty Roodzant for hanging out with the Roody's while mom was playing, and for hooking us up with a really awesome place to stay.

Also thank you to my sweet husband and kids who had the house picked up, a sign welcoming me home, and dinner on the table when I got home. You guys are so great! I am so blessed, thank you God.

My camera is messing up but Tawnya has lots of great pix, I'll post up as soon as I can.

The Eagles Have Landed

The journey began at 1:45 AM when Cathy found Tawnya waiting in her driveway, we headed South to Indy and had no problems catching our 6AM flight to visit KATHY!!

We arrived in California at 9 AM and spent the longest day of our lives waiting to see Kathy at 7:00.

Check out Kathy's reaction when she was saw Cathy and Tawnya waiting for her at the table!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgFxBSFSXCw

Check back for daily updates.

Thank you so much for all your prayers for safe travel, everything went perfectly!

Finding just the right balance...

People keep telling me that I am getting too involved with church activities. I find this a curious thing; that another person thinks they know what is a good balance for my life.

Teaching adult Sunday school gives me a great opportunity to grow in my relationship with God. It helps develop the skill of praying out loud, and has given me the awesome opportunity to hear testimonies of God's work in the lives of fellow believers. New friendships have developed, and relationships are growing deeper. The level of sharing is amazing, and we all learn from eachother. God blesses our conversations and we come to understand His Word more and more each week.

Facilitating Women in The Word studies has changed my daily walk with God in so many ways, I couldn't begin to list them. The fact that I now start each day talking to my heavenly Father, thanking him for everything, admitting that I mess things up, asking forgiveness and then asking the Holy Spirit to guide my every word and deed throughout the day, is enough benefit alone, but there are so many more benefits to leading this group. Again, the testimonies of the women in the 2 groups are amazing, we're all on different levels of spiritual maturity, but the common goal is to trust God fully, and to spend enough time in His Word and in prayer with Him that our hearts become fully devoted to Him. Oh and the friendships, and the laughter and the joy we share, and the tears and encouragement freely given...there is a smile spreading across my face as I type this.

Joining a new small group is kinda strange at first. It's so nice to get comfy with people you already know, but what fun it is to hear new perspectives, to learn from the experiences of others, and to develop new friendships. Small group offers another chance to spend some time thinking about God in my life. Do I live like I'm dying...what a great thing to determine before I only have 30 days left!

Three different studies, lots of homework, lots of scripture reading, lots of thinking about the answers to thought provoking questions. What a good way to spend my time.

I think back to my pre-church involvement days and wonder what I did in all that free time. It's amazing that I get everything done at my shop, in my house, and still have time to watch my kids' basketball games and enjoy family time. I believe that my priorities are finally getting in order, and at the top of that list is my relationship with God and that is growing deeper with every turn of the page in my Bible, and in the workbooks.

I have no regrets about how I spend my time. And I thank each one of you who is sharing this journey of bible study and small groups with me, you inspire me to walk closer with God.

sometimes we need eachother

I LOVED my Grandpa Hoekstra. He was strong, but loving. He grew a garden fit for a king; to die for sweet corn, sugar daddy watermelons and juicy raspberries, my mouth is watering as I type this! I would go to his house and hang out in the yard with him every chance I got. I can picture his yard in my head, perfectly rounded symmetrical flower beds, and rows of flowers along the driveway, planted with care and perfect spacing and height variations, and colors. It was stunning, I wish I could find a photo.

My early years of life were spent on our family pheasant farm. One year all sorts of problems happened, a tornado destroyed all the pheasant pens, next, a bad winter storm hit and the heavy snow collapsed the pens once again. I was young and I don't remember the details of that year, but I do remember that when things got crazy at our house my grandparents always showed up.

I can picture my dad and grandpa out in the yard as they worked as hard and long as it took to fix the situation, and grandma always jumped to action in the house, cooking a meal or making us clean things up. Grandpa and grandma were always there when we needed them. To me, they were the picture of strength.

The day I got my driver's license I wanted to drive somewhere so I decided to visit my grandparents. I walked into the house, and right away I could tell something wasn't right. Grandma hurried me to the kitchen and we had cookies. Grandpa didn't say anything, that was wierd.

I went to give grandpa a kiss as I left and when I got close, I could see tears on his cheeks. WHAT??? Grandpa crying???? whoa, NOT GOOD! I rushed home and told my mom and dad thru hysterical tears that I thought grandpa was dying.

My dad assured me that grandpa was fine, but decided to go and check on him anyway.

You know why my grandpa was crying? Because someone else was mowing his lawn. I'm serious. My grandpa had been sick, and was having some dizzy spells so my grandma forbid him to mow in case he passed out, so the neighbor was mowing it for him.

Part of the reason my grandpa was so bothered about someone else mowing his lawn was that he took great joy in his yardwork, and he didn't like having someone else tending to it. Another part of it had to be pride, right? After all grandpa was the one coming to everyone else's rescue all the time. He was the strong one, and I he didn't like much having someone helping him out.

One of the strongest women I know is sick, and it's driving her nuts! We missed her at study today. She's the one who is always encouraing everyone else, and she is so filled with the Spirit that she knows just the right thing to say all the time, and now here she is, not feeling well. She knows she rests securely in God's hand, but it's hard to stay positive when she knows she's not feeling well, yet doesn't know WHY she isn't feeling well.

Aren't we all like that in some way? We want to be self reliant, we want to go about in life relying only on our own strength. I think of another strong woman in our church who is paralyzed and is forced to rely on everyone for almost everything. I wonder if it gets on her nerves sometimes.

I just wanted to tell my friend that it's okay to rely on others for a change. We're here for you, praying for you and we love you. You'll be back on your feet in no time and this will all be a distant memory. In the meantime, it's ok to be grumpy, moody, in a funk...it's ok, you are allowed to let to your guard down, you are allowed to be human. Remember that God does give us our daily bread...he provides it in just the exact amount we need for that day...all we have to do is get out of the tent and gather it up. WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

A sad day/ A great day

A sad day. Another death at our church. Another man took his own life. Three men from our congregation have killed themselves in four years. I am crushed for our pastor. I don't know if he admits it or not, but I'd guess he feels in some way responsible, although he should not.

I got a call from Pastor on Wednesday telling me about a plan he had to speak to the men in our church. He told me that he felt the need to separate the women to issue a man to man challenge to the men of our church to pursue a relationship with God. He asked if I would be willing to lead the women of our church in prayer upstairs while he spoke with the men.

The Spirit convicted me, I told him yes, but followed it quickly with, "ya know some people aren't going to like it" Yes, he already knew that but he felt that he needed to do it.

On Saturday evening I went to church to pick up some papers, and I met Pastor Joel as he pulled into the parking lot. He asked "have you heard?" I had heard there was a tragedy, I had not heard the details. We lost another man from our church today, he took his own life.

No, it can't be. I asked Pastor Joel if he would survive another funeral of this nature. He replied that he was sure glad that he knows God.

I found the corner in church where I like to hide and pray before WIW Bible study. God, we're going to need you again in a huge way. that was all I could say. I wasn't close with the man who died, but I loved his wife. And I knew what a blow this was to our church body and how hard the next day's service would be. We've been there before, we know what to expect, and it's never easy.

Sunday morning the women did leave the auditorium, and we went upstairs and prayed over the men as Pastor Joel challenged them to thirst for God. Later we circled our men and prayed for them again, and sang as well. The spirit moved thru His people, stirred in some hearts. In a way, it was a great day.

It is precisely thru times of great trial that God shows up and his glory shines brightly thru the thick darkness. Because we believe in a sovereign God who has a plan for us, we rejoice in our sufferings. We know that He is in control. We know that He loves us.

God it is really hard for us to understand your plan at moments like this, but you have proved yourself faithful over and over in the lives of your people from Bible times until today, and we rejoice that again you will be faithful. May you continue to work in the hearts of the men who heard your challenge today. May they see clearly how much they need you in their lives. Break down the great wall of barriers that keeps our men from having a daily relationship with you. You are so amazing, we put all our trust in YOU.