there are days...

Today I am so thankful that I know God.

Last year I met a young girl 19 years old at SmartyPants, sweet girl, 9 months pregnant. She was looking for something stretchy ;-) to wear.

After she had her baby girl, she needed bigger jeans, couldn't quite squeeze into size 0 anymore. She's been a regular shopper ever since, and although it seems a little odd as I have a daughter her age, we have become friends, in that she visits the store often, and we chat about everything under the sun.

When her little girl was about 3 months old, she announced one day that she was pregnant again. Yowzer I thought, so young and two babies? My how the mind forgets...that was me 18 years ago, I turned 21 a little over a month before my 2nd daughter Ashley was born.

Again, I helped her find stretchy tops, and she showed me ultrasound pictures. One day a cute 17 year old girl rushed thru the doors at SmartyPants to give me a message from my friend, she'd given birth to a baby boy, but his lungs weren't right. The family was on the way to the hospital and her sister had called her to come and tell me to pray for the baby.

Interesting, since never one time in over a year did I ever mention God. Regardless, I started to pray. At first just that God would be with the baby, oh and the young parents, guide the surgeons Lord, again please God comfort my young friend. But then here came the questions taking over my mind...so, God I know that you control everything, so seriously is this neccesarry? You give 2 young unwed parents not one human being to care for, but 2? and now a sick baby? WHY??

I know why, because it is part of His plan. Period. End of story.

Well, the young parents struggled for two months, feeling horrible guilt when either leaving their one year old with various family members or leaving their frail sick baby boy at the hospital alone. The one time I did see the young mom, her eyes were almost swollen shut, her face was puffy, she was as pale as a ghost, we were at a loss for words, I just gave her a hug, and she left the shop crying.

God had yet more hardship planned for this young couple, as the baby boy passed away last week. Too many complications, the child would never recover, they lost hope, upon the advice of the doctors the plug was pulled.

Even as I type these words, my heart is shattered for my young friend.

How will this one end? I don't know. How will my friend cope? Will their be guilt? Will the strain ruin her relationship with her boyfriend, and leave her a young single mom? How will she deal, how will she heal?

And seriously, why would she have thought of me when her baby was near death? Why me? I'm the chick at the shop, we talk about music, and clothes and hair and babies, and the beach...I'm no one to her. I care about her, because she reminds me of me, but I never told her that, we just shoot the breeze once in a while.

How will God use me in this? I don't know. I've never found being overly pushy on the God subject to be very effective when dealing with non believers. You know the song..."They will know we are Christians by our love" that is my usual approach, I just try and love people.

Today, I am so thankful that I KNOW God well enough to know that a baby's short life and death wasn't for nothing. It is part of His plan, and for His glory, that is all I need to know. And as for my young friend, I will just keep loving her the only way I know how, by talking about hair and clothes and the beach, and I believe that the Spirit will give me the right words if/when I need them.