So today I'm enjoying the company of three girls in SmartyPants...they are teens and tweens. We're chatting and laughing, they are picking out back to school clothes, and asking my opinion. A lovely time is being had by all, and I think wow these are really nice girls!
Mom enters, and the mood changes. She snaps at them saying things like (I'm not making this up!) "that is never going to fit over your big butt" "you are going to look like a cow in that" " I ain't letting you dress like no slut" on and on and on and on with the cut downs.
You can cut the tension in the room with a knife, the girls all stiffen up and their smiles are gone. One girl just stops talking, stops looking at clothes and sits on the couch with her shoulders slouched. She gets yelled at for not shopping, yet everything she touches mom critques, vetos, complains or ridicules her over.
The most out-going of the three starts acting like a 2 year old...no kidding...she starts to fake cry when the mom tells her things don't fit or look good on her. She stomps her foot hands on hips, raises her voice.
Mom looks to me for sympathy. I hope what I'm thinking is not showing on my face, but I'd guess it was. "These da*# kids" she says. I bite my lip so that I don't tell her that they were fine before she walked in.
And then we wonder why girls suffer from eating disorders, and why so many teens consider suicide. We shake our heads in dismay at the way kids treat eachother with name-calling and bullying.
I can't control the mom's actions, and I know that everyone has a bad day. But, in my store it's a rule, always has been, that we must not talk badly about ourselves. When a kid starts to say that she hates her legs, or she's too short, or that she looks terrible in this or that, I've always chimed in that we shouldn't be mean to ourselves. (That's something I'm very comfortable with, beating myself up, so I know how it feels)
After today, I am on a mission to be extra nice to kids. I see tons of them every week, and I never know what is going on in their lives, mine might be the only smile they see.
So I challenge anyone reading this today to find a kid and just smile at them, say hi, say something positive, like good job or I like your hair.
Father in heaven, use us to love those kids who get no loving at home. Protect them from evil, hold them in your loving arms.
My comfort in life and death
15 years ago
1 comment:
I had a similar experience the other day. I had accompanied someone to see a Christian ounselor. I sat quite awhile during the session when the next appointment arrived. A mom and a young daughter perhaps fourteen or fifteen. I smiled my biggest smile and mom smiled back. I made a comment about the weather and she shot back a very short and curt answer. That was my first clue that I was to shut up and not be involved in her life. At that point she pointed at the sofa and commanded her daughter in a very negative tone, "Sit there." Daughter sat and folded her arms. She never said a word. Hummmmmmm. Mom's phone rang and it was a teen son she had left at home. He was obviously trying to get permission for something she wasn't going to give and her answers were very unloving. Finally she said, "Because I said so that is why." Now I'm not innocent of having said that to my kids but I wouldn't do it in public...I'd be nasty in private, I guess. Mom snapped shut the phone and expressed with every muscle in her body that she was terribly unhappy.
My heart bled for the kids...then after I had time to think about it, I, like you, lifted Mom to the Lord and asked for him to heal whatever was causing her so much distress in her life.
You are so right, Cathy....we wonder why kids are the way they are today....Keep on ministering to them with your smiles and unconditional acceptance. Love you.
Post a Comment