Faith

After the message this morning in church about plain old faith vs saving faith, I am tempted to question my faith. When Pastor used phrases like "having a fire for knowing Christ", I got to thinking....wow I don't really feel on fire right now. And when he talked about good trees bearing good fruit, hmmmm have I born any fruit at all lately?

For me, I guess, it will always be a battle. There are times when God is so fresh and new and huge in my life, that yes, I would say I have a fire for knowing Christ, but then there are those times where the fire doesn't go out, but it's not exactly burning, ya know?

In my case I blame it on "the world". I'm embarrased to admit this, but I recieve and send over 200 text messages nearly every day....I know, ridiculous! On top of that my cell phone rings probably 25 times a day, don't get me started on the phone at the store, and the fact that everyone wants my attention there. I probably check my email 20 times a day, and respond to at least 10 emails per day. I am out of control. Someone or something is pulling at me every waking moment. And then I wonder why my relationship with God seems a little dimmer at certain times....uhh.....hello?!

When I would stop in at Pastor Bryan's office I was often a little jealous that he would be sitting at his desk reading his Bible. I was thinking.....dude, you get paid for this?! Now I know Bryan did a million other things and I"m sure he felt the same pull on certain days that we all do. He once told me that Tuesday was his favorite day b/c he was the only one in the office and he spent a lot of God time on Tuesdays, and didn't it show in his life and in his preaching? That he made his relationship with God a priority? I so admire that.

I said early I am tempted to question my faith. You see I love to think that my faith is all about me. I start a little pep talk in my head, come on Cath...HAVE MORE FAITH!!! I start to think I'm not good enough because my fire is dim.

So today I came home, and Ted and I started discussing the sermon and the Bible passage, and God, and there it was that fire. It wasn't gone, it was right there. And we discussed the way God has worked and continues to work in our lives. And in the end my husband said that what it always boils down to for him is "less of me, more of you God".

So I shut off my phone (yep I really did it, it was hard too, what if someone needs me?!) and I dusted off my Bible, and now I decided to blog because I'm not done thinking and talking about God yet. And it feels great, and it's what I want to do.

So I start my mission of making my God time a #1 priority. I'm always praying to God, you guys know I talk a lot and I think 100 times faster than I talk, and all day long we have little conversations in my head, so I do feel close to God, but I need his Word in my life. I need to study his character, and read His stories to feel on fire.

So let's start the fire, shall we? We have women signed up for the night session of WIW, so now you will have the option of Wednesday morning or a night. The church is being used by the Hispanic church on Tuesday nights, we could still probably find a spot in the church, or maybe I could twist someone's arm who has a home big enough to host the group. I'll be calling everyone on that list this week to find out if Tuesday is the best night, Monday might also be an option.

Please be in prayer for the childcare aspect of this ministry. I might have a volunteer to coordinate that, but finding volunteers was often a challenge for Kathy. Pray that God sends just the right person our way to take charge and do a great job.

Thank you for all your support. I picked up the materials today and couldn't even wait, I opened the book in the car and started reading! At the same time, I'm a wee bit nervous. I just told you about my crazy life, and now I add more responsibility. When you guys make nice comments about this blog, or offer help and encourage me, it makes all the difference. Thank you so much!