What is the point of going to church??

Well, I've been in Florida for a month, I guess I should be getting adjusted by now, right? It sure is sunny here, and when I hear of the cooler temps "up North" I remember to quit pouting for a minute and appreciate the warm weather.

Moving away from friends and family is not an easy thing. In fact it's harder than I thought it would be. I can see already though, that good is going to come from it. As always God is at work in all of our lives, and I do believe that my relationship with my husband is and will be strenghthened. He is one of my only friends here, and as he starts a new job tomorrow, I am already mourning the loss. Life is hard sometimes isn't it?

So Sunday seems to be the worst for me. We're "church shopping" which is what we said we were doing for years during our marriage as an excuse not to get involved enough in church to have people start expecting us to be there on a regular basis. This time we are church shopping for real, desperately trying to find a place where we feel comfortable and fit in.

We miss you Community Church. God is doing something special through all of you, and I feel blessed to have been a small part of it.

So today we just stayed in our pajamas and watched church at the Crystal Cathedral. We have tried a Methodist church, a non demoninational Bible church, a Baptist church, and last week we drove 1 1/2 hours to attend Bradenton CRC. While each church had it's good points, we are having a hard time trying to avoid comparing them with our beloved CCRC.

For the last few weeks I was thinking, what is my problem, what am I looking for in a church??? And today it became a little clearer while sitting in my pjs drinking coffee watching TV.

The speaker at Crystal Cathedral this morning was Tony Compollo. Excellent speaker. Tells it like it is, love that in a human being. I had heard him speak when I went to a young Calvinist convention when I was in high school, so I was thrilled when Schuler announced that he would be the speaker of the day!

Anyway, today in the living room, through a charismatic preacher, a top notch orchestra and a well trained choir singing hymns, my heart was lifted, and I could just "feeeeeel" something that I was missing.

Then all our pages and pages of homework from last year flashed before my eyes, and I knew in an instant what I had been missing. The presence of GOD. That is all I want in a church. That's it. I can just sense it when a speaker has such a close relationship with God, and the Spirit just moves thru the message and it just envelopes my heart and I know that it is God. I felt it again today.

What is the point of going to church,I've been asked that many times by unbeliever friends, and the answer is so clear, to be in the presence of God, to worship Him for all that He has given us in His Son. To be filled with joy in the knowledge that no matter how badly we will continue to mess it up, He will forgive us.

Church in the living room was great today, but I missed the fellowship of believers. Who knew a former "church shopper" could become so dependant on "church"? No, I have become dependant on God, and long to be in His presence, fellow believers at my side, Praising Him for that and praying that He will lead us to the place of His choosing so that we may worship in His presence.

Enjoy Esther! Please post up once you get rolling and share what you're learning! Would love to hear what God is doing!

Been a long time!

I took the summer off from blogging, in fact I pretty much took the summer off from everything besides sitting on the beach and playing with my friends! Lucky me!

News has leaked out that after a lot of heart wrenching decision making, we have decided to move to Florida.

The decision to move was made this winter, and then we chickened out in March, mainly because of the uncertain economy in FLorida.

Literally days after our decision not to move, my husband's job situation got really bad. When we add up the days he didn't work in the early spring it makes 6 weeks worth of NO paycheck. Ouch.

Was God trying to tell us to stop making every single decision a fiscal one? I really don't know.

You know the saying, things just fell into place? Well or us, it's more like things just fell apart. So what does that mean? What is God trying to tell us, stay and tough it out? Go and start afresh? I have no idea.
Those of you in WIW studies and close friends of mine know that God has really been working on me in the area of my marriage. I am often accused of beating myself up, but here are the facts; I was in a difficult marriage, that failed, this left me with an attitude, in fact it left me a bitter and unforgiving woman, thankfully God changed my heart, and I am free of those things, but I admit that a slight "attitude" remains. ;-)

Another fact is that I was a single mom of 2 little girls for a few years, which, for all practical purposes made me the head of my own household.

When I married my sweet husband, I never truly turned over that role to him. Honestly, I think he was okay with it too. He was aware that i was deeply devoted to my girls, and respected my decisions regarding how they were raised. And when we had a son, he was just naturally raised the same way.

Over the years I admit to getting my way...every single time. The creed in our house is....if the momma ain't happy...you know the rest!

"Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church," Ephesians 5:22-23a

So what does that mean exactly? I don't know, but I do know I was not living up to those standards.
So God started just working on me, and as I fought against my natural bossy attitude, I felt like God was melting me down, little by little.

And just as I melted and gave in to the idea of not always being in control in our household, my husband announced his desire to move to Florida to be closer to his mom.

This story is getting much too long, so to shorten it up, I will just say, I am excited and very afraid of moving to FLorida. I am FROM here. All of you FROM here know just what that means. But the timing of God planting that seed in me to "submit" to my husband the way He commands and my husband deciding it was time to move is not lost on me.

So in faith I head south to a new life, new jobs, new schools, new neighborhood, new church family.

To my WIW sisters, I am praying that someone who loves Jesus will step up to the plate and lead my dear Women in The Word. I love you all! I'll try to keep blogging as a way to stay in touch, so please comment often!

My favorite things...

So here's the deal...a long time ago I worked out at home to a vhs tape that I really enjoyed. I had tried everything Sweatin to The Oldies (annoying), Yoga (relaxing but I needed cardio), various dance tapes etc but there was one that was just right, a good fit for me. A good workout, tough enough without killing me, and entertaining enough to do it a few times a week without getting bored.

So we moved a while back and my husband thought we should purge lots of our stuff that we weren't using at the moment...and well....I certainly wasn't using the exercise tapes very often, so they went in the yard sale and they are probably collecting dust in someone elses house.

Anyway, I have been trying to get into an exercise routine. I am so thankful for nicer weather to walk outside in, but during the winter I tried various exercise tapes, and none of them kept my attention. Exercise is now a struggle, something I am forcing myself to do. Not fun.

So it occured to me that Bible study is the same for me. This year "A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place" was so interesting to me. It was hard work and lot o f homework, but the benefits of this study were vast to me.

I've been trying to study the Bible on my own for the past few weeks since the study ended, and I'm finding it hard to be consistent. I realize I've lost my favorite study guide, and I'm almost mourning the loss. There's just something about meeting with Women of God, and discussing a great Bible lesson.

I'm missing each of you today.

Last DVD & brunch

This week is the final DVD teaching for the tabernacle study.

Wednesday morning will be brunch while we watch the DVD. Bring a breakfast item to share.

Mixed feelings...

As much as I thought this study was going to be the death of me, I wept yesterday as I turned the last page, read the last Bible passages and filled in the last blanks of our tabernacle study. I already feel strangely empty and we'll meet two more times before we are completely done.

I'm amazed that I WANT to study God's Word. For me, in the past, personal devotions were at best a forced event, where out of guilt I found and dusted off my Bible, clenched my teeth, and vowed to stay faithful and read at least one passage per day. It usually lasted less than a week, and there sat my study Bible covered in dust on the end of my dresser.

I just gotta say this, if God is not amazing and interesting enough to keep us studying and wanting more of Him, we have no one to blame but ourselves. His Word is more interesting, complex, attention grabbing, life enhancing and complete than anything ever created by any human.

Thank you God for teaching us through the tabernacle study this year. You have opened our eyes and our hearts to lessons that we needed to learn. You have created bonds between us women that we desperately needed. Convinced of the truth, that You want to dwell in me, to show your glory thru me...I am speechless, and I stand in awe of You forever.

well.....

So, did you get day 1 complete yet ladies? Our lesson on being good finishers has really touched a nerve for me, and I bet for others as well.

Just this morning I told my husband if it were up to us to build the tabernacle...well, let's just say I'm not confident we would have succeeded. What a great lesson.

Can't wait to discuss the heart questions with you guys next week.

John 8:7

Another great week of discussions as we reap the harvest of 8 weeks of hard lessons in this tabernacle study!

In our study this week we read James 8:7:

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."

We discussed the way we sometimes think of our righteous acts. We were reminded that our righteous acts are like filthy rags. We studied the fact that Christ's death was for the pharisees, those who gave him vinegar to drink, and even those who drove the nails into his hands and feet. In the middle of one of the worst times in the history of man, Christ died for us. Sobering news, but great news!

Our discussion turned to the fact that it is important for long time, been going to church your whole life, believers to remember that their righteous acts are like filthy rags. Sometimes we think we are doing pretty good. At least we don't have big things on the list like murder, or adultery, but sadly, we sometimes forget that slandering someone is the same as murdering them to God.

We talked about how easy it is to sit in judgement of people who seem to be in a mess all the time. We sit back and wonder, "why can't they get their act together?!"

I shared the story of feeling the eyes of judgement on me when I had to appear before the council as a pregnant unmarried teenager. It hurt.

On the other side of the coin we talked about the way things have become so gray, and how we really need to call a sin a sin. Especially in church leadership, the Bible calls for discipline, it needs to be done.

I thought about what I would say to a pregnant teenager if I were called on to the job of church discipline, and it would go something like this:

As your sister in Christ, I need to talk to you about the situation you find yourself in. The Bible teaches us the law, and you probably already know that some of your past actions are considered sins according to God's Holy Word. I'm sure you already feel bad, and guilty about your sin. We all sin against God and fall short, no one is perfect. Here's the good news, Jesus death was for the sinner, not for the "perfect" or the "sinless" person. In fact not one perfect person exists, so Jesus died for each of us. I'm here on behalf of the church to remind you that God still loves you, and that, once you repent, your sins of the past will be GONE and remembered no more. You are a beloved child of God and His only desire is that you remain in a close relationship to Him. If there is anything we can do for you, we are here as your God's family.

The goal of church discipline should certainly be to draw the wayward back to God. Let's pray for the elders of our churches as they make these difficult visits, and try to handle awkward situations in love. And let's vow to keep looking inward at our own hearts to see where we are falling short, instead of looking around in judgement of others. Jesus died for the sinners...that's you and me, and the addict, and the murderer.